Take that off!

My pastor was preaching today about putting aside things that belong to the Christian's former nature - who you were before you knew Christ. Some of what he said hit me right in the heart. Like don't be the one who complains about your employer promoting other people because God is big enough to take care of you.

Whannnnnngggg!

His text was from Colossians 3:6-14. Put aside all anger and malice, wrath, railing, etc. The word the Apostle Paul uses for anger is orge which can be both a predisposition to anger or emotional agitation and wrath.

I have to admit, my previous post about my job sounded pretty much like orge. But I am still sorting this out. Because of an abusive childhood, I do have a lot of anger. I get pissed when I am mistreated. I used to just take it, you know, be a good boy, be a nice guy, take the garbage - and seethe internally.

I don't do that any more. I am coming to learn that anger in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing. It's like the horn on your car. It's a warning signal that something is wrong - that boundary has been violated, that there's danger in the situation, that worse things can happen if you ignore it.

But I still haven't learned how to be assertive without being angry. "No" was not a word that was allowed in our home - at least not if you were a kid. It didn't matter how you were treated, you couldn't say "that hurt, stop it." And the same went with my older brother's sexual abuse. I couldn't say "no" in the middle of the night when he came into my room to sexually abuse me. If I did, mom might find out, and that would be worse. (She found out later; I told her. And true to form she shamed me about it, so she wasn't safe).

But I'm not a child any more. I'm the grown up now and I can say no and mean it. But I am still learning the difference between setting and maintaining a boundary - how to stand up for myself - and being angry about everything. And I realize that some of the feelings I have are leftovers. Left over from childhood. Left over from the garbage dump. And the anger - like powder in a muzzle loader - might be left over from a previous shot that should have been fired but wasn't. But I'm not crazy - where I work is still a toxic place that mistreats its employees. Don't believe me? as the OPM.

Where's that?

The place where I work just got ranked the next-to-worst place in the government to work by the Office of Personnel Management. (The only place worse was the Federal Labor Relations Authority - isn't THAT ironic!). The OPM's employee satisfaction survey ranked our agency next to last in several of its categories.  I have to ask myself "why are you here?" I believe I am not the only one asking that question.

When the Washington Post published this report (in which they said VOA Parent the Worst Place to Work - which is WRONG, but hey, it's the Post accuracy is not their strong point - they also interviewed our so-called "Director" Dan Austin, though what he directs, I am not sure.  It seems as if former WTOP and CNN employee Steve Redisch is actually running things; what Austin does, I'm not sure. He's a short-timer unless he's burrowed into this place - he was appointed by the Bush Administration and the Obamasites haven't gotten around to getting rid of him yet.

When he was appointed in 2006, the New York Times said: Mr. Austin, who has worked outside the United States on short-term reporting assignments but essentially served in corporate posts, said the notion of taking over the Voice of America was “not on my radar screen.” He had just taken a retirement package from Dow Jones in March.

“I was contemplating taking some time off, reading,” he said. “I’ve done some work for charity kinds of things and then through an acquaintance who knows one of the governors on the board, they asked me if I had any interest in the Voice of America.” Hmmm. On his way to retirement and we get him. Now THAT's leadership

But anyway, the Post, in its illustrious attempts at "balance" quoted an interview it did with Mr. Austin, and made reference to the AFGE Union.  But it didn't bother to quote anyone from the union - 1812 rep Tim Shamble or anyone else. 

Austin started out by saying "You have to put this in perspective." Any time someone answers a question that way - whether its our big Kahunas or the College of Cardinals, the Washington Redskins or Ted Haggard's spokesman, you should have a red flag flying in your mind. 

It's tantamount to saying "I'm about to spin this the way I want you to hear it; the truth de damned." But to quote Shakespeare "Foul deeds will rise, though all the earth O'erwhlem them to men's eyes." The people here are unhappy, they work for people who are perceived as autocrats who don't care, and the climate doesn't appear ready to change. 

The people who are promising "change" are the very ones who are the source of the problem.  It's kind of like a drunken wife abuser telling his kids he's not gonna hit mommy any more - we all know it's not true. We just lie to ourselves in the hope that it will get better.  Usually what ends up happening is mommy dies.

More later.

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