My wife would have me examined!

My editor at work sent me a copy of an article from the 1955 edition of Housekeeping Monthly Magazine. Granted this was 51 years ago, but some of the "recommendations" in this article sound like they were written by the Taliban. Among the real goodies:

"Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day."

"Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice."

"Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction."

Did I mention that this rag also said "Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax." (Oh and they forgot to add, make sure you are the Virgin Mary when it comes to raising the children, but Lady Chatterly in the bedroom, any time he wants, as much as he wants, regardless of how sh**ty he treats you!)

I laughed out loud when I read this crap! Who in the world came up with this? And you know what the last one was? "A good wife always knows her place."

Now wait a minute! I have been married for almost seven years now. While I would agree that the work-a-day world can sand the life out of you, no way can I expect my wife to have everything perfect when I come home. And my wife is a conscientious woman, she keeps a great house (on top of working her hands off at a hair salon). But I'm not one of those Homer Simpson-types, sitting around doing nothing.

Frankly I have found that there's no such thing as "woman's Work" or "man's work." There's just the work. Laundry, dishes, garbage, yard work, bills - they are equal opportunity tasks.

But the sad thing is - some people still believe this backwash! Don't mistake the biblical passage about submission to authorize this kind of hoo-hah. Please.

Let's see - maybe we could give the "Good husband's Guide."

"Remember that your wife is a gift from God; you are not entitled to her affection or presence, so do everything you can to make her feel appreciated."

"Never be abrupt or harsh with her; she is God's daughter and He will ask you why you treated her that way."

"Love her with your very life. If it comes to a choice between your life and hers, yours is over. Always remember that she is a gift, not a right."

"Work hard to provide for her and help her with the children. She has been working just as hard as you, and has handled stresses that you do not on a daily basis. Your commute, your job, and your paycheck do not entitle you to be a bastard."

"Listen to her, even when what she is saying doesn't make sense to you. And don't try to fix things for her. Sometimes she just wants you to listen, and not act."

"Never make anything - your job, your friends, Superbowl tickets or the NCAA Final Four - more important to you than she is. Always treat her with respect, acknowledging that God gave her a mind too, and she can say something of value."

"Remember, a good husband always knows his place."

Wonder how many of us guys could live up to even one of those stipulations. I couldn't. I screw it up all the time. That's why I need Jesus.